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Pen Do.

Posted on: Tuesday, 28 February 2012

So the weekend saw the advent of Pen Do. And, by Christ, Sunday saw the advent of New Lent. I will be alcohol-free for forty days and forty nights.

It's fine to start Lent a week in. Chris Evans said so. He did - on Monday's breakfast show (for the record, he's cutting out beer and bread. I swear, a significant part of my carb-related paranoia is down to Mr Evans.) No, I don't know what the Pope's official line on it is. But if the Big Man himself did 40 days in the desert, so if that's good enough for him, it's good enough for me.

But I digress. The reason for enforced sobriety? PEN DO WAS STONKING, MAN.

Although that combination of gin, red wine and apple sours (why?) was not. Gaaaaah.

Sunday was a Day of Twos. two hot cross buns. Two naps. Two Panadols. Two lime and sodas. One of anything just wasn't doing the job.

Anyway, so PenDo. Penny has written about it. Anna K has written about it. And now I shall write about it. Oh yes I shall.

I will put links in to their witty write-ups when I'm not on the iPad - oh yes, DID I MENTION I BOUGHT AN IPAD?! And years of being scathing about Apple have come to an abrupt end? - mainly so that you can read and internally vomit about 'intimate pink' being used as a colour description for any kind of branding purposes and for Anna's rather lovely sum-up of everyone. Aw, shucks. It's all true.

If this was Guide camp, we'd be hugging right now.

First of all, let it be known that it was like a massive blind date. Oh god. I haven't been in the back of a taxi wearing a pretty dress and trying to ignore sweaty palms for Quite Some Time. I didn't enjoy that bit. Wasn't dating exhausting? Cilla lied to us. Our Graham and his quick recap lied. Dating isn't exciting. It's overrated and stressful and leads to whiny existential conversations with female friends.

Secondly, let it be known that they are all REAL PEOPLE. I know, I was surprised, too. But they are. And they live up to their personas. Because, let's face it, prior to Saturday, they were all personas. Rebecca was the epitome of swan-like elegance. Anna was a Quip Machine with incredible pouting abilities. Penny was an edgy rock goddess. And so on. But on Saturday they came to life from the moment I found Amy, Anna, Gemma, Kirsty, Bex and Lucy at the bar and uttered the immortal words, 'Pen Dooooo?'

There was a pause that in reality was about four nanoseconds. At that moment it felt like aeons. Then Amy said, 'Yes!'


So Rebecca and Penny appeared. And Neon Cactus fed and watered us. And we sang karaoke. And Daniel by Elton John was on the machine. Ah, me. And someone took lots of photos (apparently. I was doing too much Elton-loving to really notice, it seems.)

And do you know, it was bloody marvellous? Completely and utterly out of my comfort zone if I'm totally honest - all gob, no trousers, me - but actually ace. I was reminded of Baz Luhrmann and that 90s hit Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen) - 'Do something each day that scares you.'

Although I think what scared me, on reflection, wasn't actually the meeting up, but the measuring up. I don't think I've ever hung out with such a gang of Ridiculous Over-Achievers. Errr, girls, I think it would do you some good to, like, FAIL AN EXAM or NOT BE SO DEVASTATINGLY STYLISH or HAVE A BAD HAIR DAY. You're showing the rest of us up.



  1. Bahahaha love it! If you could see me right now, you would not need to instruct me to stop being so devastatingly stylish. More like stop being such a gross leggings-wearing slob. Nice.

    Was so great to meet you!

  2. I agree, I was putting my best foot forward all weekend... although I am currently wearing unicorn pyjamas so maybe it's more effortless than I think. Great write-up, I have done a tea-snort at least three times. Pub soon, even if it's just for a lime and soda!


  3. Um, sorry, but don't tell me not to over achieve... I always thought that having two people as proper, down and out funny as you and your man in one room at the same time would cause some kind of cataclysmic explosion and it was something modern science devoted much time to the prevention of. But no, and as it turns out, you two are married and as such are in the same room a lot. I think for Lent I'm going to give up wanting to be Northern. This will please the husband as he says I sound silly when I say owt. xx

  4. I assure you I have achieved all three of those more than once! So nice to meet you!!! Having done so I've spent the past three days wraching my brains to see if I can dredge up a memory of seeing you over beige-food-covered dining tables, or the toastie bar, and generally getting myself in a big muddle. (I'm seriously crap at recognising people, I've walked past my own mum in the street before)

    Also, I'm determined to use 'intimate pink' in conversation just to see peoples reaction.

  5. Amy, do you have a Mary's fresher photo? Back row, right hand side, wearing a (non-intimate) pink cardy.

    Penny - pub? Yussss.

    Oh, it was fun!

  6. Laura I didn't recognise you immediately because your hair was darker than it is on the Internets! The Internet lied! You are ace. I wish the table had been shorter.

  7. I did but I have no idea where it is! I think that's around where I am on it too. (Can't remember, will have to make someone check for me)


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