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Oh hai.

Posted on: Monday, 20 May 2013




Holy Mother of God, I redesigned the blog. 

What started as a little project - three? four? - weeks ago turned into a mammoth sweaty-palmed operation which eventually involved some head bashing against the computer, swearing and generally poor behaviour. It was a bit like the 'This shouldn't be so hard, I have a degreeeeee!' Indian visa application moment of late 2011. I am not proud. 

Credit where credit's due: Kirsty and her redesign are actual real-life inspirations not too dissimilar from the likes of ooh, Nelson Mandela or Roy Castle. I talk about her in hushed, reverent tones usually reserved by little Italian ladies for discussing Padre Pio. Even Bedders is familiar with the ins and outs of her reworking, poor sod. She also pointed me in the direction of Pugly Pixel and Blog Milk (gracias to both respectively), without which this little stationery junkie wouldn't have found lots of pretty backgrounds and textures and oh-my-God-the-photo-layouts. So merci buckets to Kirsty. Respect, innit. Your posts encouraged me to try to make sense of HTML and CSS; without them, I'd have inevitably had a big girly hissy fit. 

Please don't get me started, mind, on the bits that aren't quite right yet. Ugly 'follow me' twitter button, your days are numbered. 'About' page: you were there one minute and then disappeared the next, but you'll soon be back, don't you worry. At this current moment I would do (very) bad things for an on-hand ICT support team, so if you're that way inclined don't hesitate to contact me (at least when you click on my email to the right, there's a working link. I'll pay you handsomely in, err, biscuits or something.

So what have I actually been up to other than this little redesign adventure? Well, I've been playing around with my new 50mm camera lens. Oh, it's dreamy. And I've been writing; more on that soon. Oh, and I SAW GATSBY! I should really write a review. I'll write a review. Soon. 

Thank you for bearing with me. More LOLs, ROFLs and Shnarfs from Thundercats very soon.

Sometimes...

Posted on: Thursday, 25 April 2013

...you don't need to buy stuff.


...you just need to move it around. 



Recommended Reading: The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver

Posted on: Monday, 8 April 2013





Kingsolver’s The Poisonwood Bible has been speaking to me from bookshelves for years. You need to read me, it would whisper seductively. I’m everything you love in a book. I’m published by Faber, and I know how much you love your Fabers. Barbara Kingsolver’s just your kind of writer. She’s said things like ‘Perfectionism is my disease‘ - I mean, come on! I was made for you. You know you’ll love me. But despite all of its pouting and hip-wiggling, I continued to snub it. 

Moment of surrealism over, I picked up TPB from the work library a couple of months ago. Its seductive voice was even more powerful on account of my recent move to Belgium, and the initial setting of the book being the Belgian-run Congo in the late 1950s. It’s the story of the four Price sisters, their mother Orleanna and ‘Our Father’ Nathan, who move from the US to a remote jungle village. Nathan Price, a fearsome preacher of the fire-and-brimstone variety, is on a mission in the truest sense of the word: a spiritual quest to save the souls of the primitive and pagan Congolese. 




The eldest of the Price girls is Rachel, a vacuous beauty queen who spends most of her time in the jungle dreaming of prom. Next are Leah and Adah; twins but un-twins due to random injustice in utero. The youngest is Ruth May who, in the words of another key character, Anatole, has ‘the heart of a mongoose - clever and brave.’ Between the four girls and Orleanna, the story is unravelled in chapters headed by alternating character names and told in five very different narrative voices. These voices - constantly shifting but each distinct, each poetic in its own way - support the narrative arc in a way that’s both utterly convincing and yet seemingly uncontrived. 

It’s very, very difficult to write a convincing, uncontrived child narrator, don’t you think? Kingsolver pulls it off with masterful skill. “My monkey sock monkey was named Saint Matthew,” Ruth May ponders sadly after Saint Matthew’s disappearance. Sentences later she tells the reader about the family’s domestic help, “...Mama Tataba, our cooking lady. Rachel calls her Mama Tater Tots. But she won’t cook those. I wish she would.”




Elsewhere the writing style is sumptuous, lyrical, to-die-for; paragraphs and passages of lush verdant prose that defies my usual trick of ‘fold the corner when you see a bit you like for scrawling-down-later purposes’. I could have turned almost every page. The girls’ descriptions are suffused with Biblical imagery, ranging from the hilarious (“my sisters ran out screaming like the first free pigs off the ark”) to the stunning (the inexplicable presence of a beautiful blue and white plate in their shambolic jungle hovel is likened to that of the “Virgin Mother in her barnful of shepherds and scabby livestock”). And, oh, the colours. “It is early morning now, rooster-pink sky smoky air morning,” Adah tells us. Is that not utterly alive-in-your-head deliciousness? Orleanna describes a fleeting moment of pleasure away from her husband and children: “A kiss of flesh-coloured sunrise as I hung out the wash.” 

And so the women tell the story - their own, and the Congo’s. When the family eventually disband for South Africa, for the US and elsewhere, one of the girls is left behind in the red soil of Kilanga in an unmarked grave. Orleanna spends the rest of her life atoning for her non-crime and the three girls that are left to grow into womanhood have to make their own reckoning of their past. As their mother says, “To live is to be marked...to live is to change, to die one hundred deaths.”




Kingsolver has complained of being pigeon-holed as a ‘political writer’, whatever that might mean (she seems to think the label is lazy, covering everything from ‘This is about the world’ to ‘This makes me feel uncomfortable’). But, true to her reputation, there are some big questions being asked in The Poisonwood Bible. How does one atone for a sin that isn’t one’s own? Those sins could be personal - whether it be a lack of action that leads to the death of your beloved child, for example, or gorging yourself on too many minerals in the womb, leaving your twin stunted and deformed - but also political - as an American, or even a white person, how can an inidividual atone for the gross abuse of one nation by another? And in terms of Kingsolver’s Big Questions this is barely scratching the surface. Is God a veangeful God, she wants to know? Is morality relative? In the materially comfortable Western world, can we really make a judgement about life in 1960s Africa? “The loss of a life: unwelcome. Immoral?” asks Adah. In a society where we have so much left-over protein we feed it to our pets then yes, for a child to die from hunger is probably immoral. “But this is just one place. I have seen a world.” The moral debate lingered long after I finished the book, but one thing is certain: The Poisonwood Bible is at least as much the true story of the Congo’s war-torn past as it is the story of the fictional Prices.




Kingsolver strikes me as a real, for want of a more flattering word, swot of a writer. The novel begins with a disclaimer citing the impossibilities of her getting into Zaire while researching and writing the novel but details some of the meticulous background reading and interviews she conducted nevertheless. Moreover, she ends with a detailed bibliography of novels and non-fiction texts she devoured in her preparation. I love that breed of transparency. I suppose it’s unsurprising, though, from a woman who quotes Samuel Johnson in response to a question about how she became a writer: “A man can turn over a whole library to write a single book.” She’s done an awful lot of reading and an awful lot of waiting - 30 years, apparently - to gain the ‘maturity and wisdom’ she felt she needed to write this. Believe me, it's worth the wait. 


Photos taken in the Afrika Museum in Tervuren, Brussels - I wrote something about it here

Reason #4713 Why I Love Bedders

Posted on: Sunday, 24 March 2013

We had a squabble. 

It's the end of term, it's STILL fecking snowing, I've had a cold and we are DYING for a week in Spain. 

He called me a monkey. On reflection, I was being a bit of a monkey, but then so was he. I told him such. 

And then I got this in an email:


"Two monkeys leads to bickering. Two monkeys in Spain are always happier monkeys, and the monkeys have a week before that. Best that the monkeys realise this and get on better to ensure some good monkeying around in Spain, non? This counts for both monkeys, and this monkey has had a word."

And then this picture:


Apparently he looks like me. Cheeky get. 

Mind you, I was forced to admit the similarity

(By the way, do you crave more pictures like this? Eat your heart out.) 

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Four. More. Days. Till. Sunshine. 

Reasons Why You Should Definitely Follow Me On Twitter And Other Such Updates

Posted on: Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Well, I've sent 45 billion work emails, condensed five scrawled To Do lists into one carefully-printed catalogue of tasks, listened to 80% of the Today programme on Radio 4 and found a cure for the common cold*.  And it isn't even 11am! This can only mean one thing: SNOW DAY. 

*well, I'm self-medicating with paracetamol and hot water and lemon and feeling bloody marvellous

Next thing on the agenda: update this bleedin' blog. Again, I've been away. I know. Sometimes, though, you've just gotta revise for that French exam and enjoy your subscription to the Times and read, read, read (pour mon travail, mainly, although I have been enjoying the odd excursion into extra-curricular books, too); ooo, and maybe do some furtive planning for future stuff and whatnot. 

So what have I been doing? Well, I could direct you towards my twitter feed, but a quick peek at my profile timeline suggests that my updates are a bit, err, slapdash shall we say? 

And you wonder why you don't follow me? With updates like this?


I've also been bossing my husband around:


And spoiling y'all with my sharp and insightful celebrity-based commentary:
  

To be fair, this last one was the most exciting thing to have happened to me this month:


It was Ryan, if you're interested, on this episode. 

What else? There must be more! Well, during February half-term we made off to Debbie and Richard's delightful self-catering spot in Ravenstonedale, Cumbria once again. And voila, I took perhaps the Most Impressive Instagram Photo Of All Time:


It was honestly this beautiful. 

And then went to Best Book Shop Of All Time. Believe me, I've been to a few. And read lots, accompanied by lots gins and tonics. Lots of lots, hey? It was a week of the best kind of excess.


And I blew my mind reading a biography of Ted Hughes followed by Birthday Letters. Sometimes, his words are so tender; at other times, they're like a slap. Highly, highly recommended. 


And then a quick stop-off in London before coming back to Bruxelles. An exciting Orla Kiely purchase (be still, my beating heart) more than made up for the misery of a rail replacement service. And how lovely are those turquoise King's Cross tiles?

So that's me for now. Must do better and all that. 

So until next time, listen to this. It's fabulous. I've been pretending that it's exposure to French, but actually taking an hour to compile a playlist called Frenchy McFrenchy on Spotify probably isn't as useful a method of revision as, say, ooo, studying irregular verbs might be. I just like her throaty voice and imagining myself listening to this whilst smoking a cigarette and looking intense as only a Frenchy could. 





Salivating at the Very Thought

Posted on: Tuesday, 29 January 2013








It would be wrong to say that my entire Christmas was RUINED at the news that Baz Luhrmann's Gatsby's been postponed to May. But close.

I know, I know. Have patience. Good things come to those who wait. 

And in the meantime, look at these beauties. How glossy? How slick? How oh-so-sexy? Oh, and what I said about Leo? I TOTALLY take it back. 


It would have taken way more seagulls than Roald Dahl said...

Posted on: Tuesday, 15 January 2013






...to lift James' Giant Peach. You can read about it here, if you like. A friend sent me it knowing I'd appreciate it. And I did. 

And aren't the illustrations lovely? 

I'm trying to read the bugger in French at the minute (it's 'grosse peche' in French, which is a bit of an troubling translation for me - like fat? Fat peach? Big fatty peach? Hmm). 

Well, I say trying. I mean looking up every second word. 

Apparently, it will IMPROVE MY FRENCH. And my resolve to stick at these New Year's Resolutions isn't fading. Oh no. Not yet. 15 days in (well, I started on the 6th, so technically, it's 9 days, but who's being a technical bore?) and I'm going strong. Like a trooper. 

Don't even want a beer. Wouldn't have it if you offered me one. Not even THINKING about a beer. A lovely Belgian beer. Nah. 











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